Because it feels good.
Ever asked someone why they do something and they answered, “Because it feels good.”
Up until a few years ago that was an answer you’d never hear fall from my mouth.
“Why do you yoga?”
“Because it’s good to stretch and cross train.”
“Jamie, why do you eat kale?”
“Because it’s full of antioxidants that will help me live longer.”
“Why did you choose to be a coach?”
“Because it’s important work and I love helping people find truth and reconnect with themselves.”
“Jamie, why do you journal?”
“Because it gets me present with myself.”
Not once would it ever cross my mind to answer, “Well, because it feels good.”
Being an INFJ, I’m inherently wired to be more feeler than thinker and yet for the first 32 years of my life I tried my darnedest to be as rational and logical as possible.
No room for feelings over here. Nope. No siree. Thank you.
Feelings were too big, too scary and most certainly way too unpredictable.
I decided early on it was much safer to stay in the realm of thinking where, I thought, I could predict outcomes, be respected and look all put together. (Not having feelings also kept me safe from being called a “crazy emotional female” which our patriarchal society loves to slap on a woman who dares show any emotion other than easeful happiness.)
There was also something inside me that judged those people who did things just because they felt good. “How ridiculous. How irresponsible. How hedonistic!”
For the record, there is nothing wrong with hedonism (a chocolate fountain next to a cheese fondue fountain is always a good idea).
There’s also nothing wrong with hard work, duty and purpose. All that hard driving stuff can certainly feed our soul and make us feel good and worthy and if it’s the only way we allow ourselves to feel good, we’re left with a lot of accomplished goals and little true joy and connection to show for it.
So why do we resist the things that feels good or try to find a more acceptable way to talk about them?
Because we don’t want to seem idle or lazy.
We want to be respected and praised in a society that historically values drive and money above all else.
We want to be useful, helpful, and impactful and we think if our actions only feel good to us then we’re self-indulgent.
And most importantly, because if something feels too good, it means we’ve opened our hearts wide open and are now vulnerable to the eventual pain of losing that goodness.
Let’s take a breath and let that settle for a second. (I mean it. Take a breath.)
The truth is, when we let what we enjoy feel good because it just does, without any other reason attached to it, that moment becomes a simple one. It’s a moment of joy, of pleasure, a moment of supreme kindness to self which makes us feel free, light and connected to an inner sense of self that we rarely take the opportunity to access.
And that feels f*cking great.
So now when I dance, cry, run, have a hard talk with my dude, push up against my limits, go to bed at 9:45 pm, write even when I doubt myself, eat pie, speak my truth and coach my ass off I can say I do it because, at the end of the day, it all feels really really good.
Now tell me, what do you like that just feels good? What in your life can you let feel good without attaching any acceptable reasons why to it?
Think about it and when you know, hit reply and lay it on me.
Lots of love and today, just let it feel good,
P.S. If you’re having a hard time coming up with a list of things that feel good or are looking to expand that list, join me for Just F*cking Journal. JFJ was created out of my own sense of wanting to express myself and my joy, without explanation. Journaling breaks the cycle of needing a “good, logical reason” for doing what we do and brings us face to face with our uncensored joy and delight. Class starts on October 12. Be sure to sign up here and join
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