Hello from the land of new motherhood

Holy goodness, how are you?

Right now I’m sitting in our quiet studio. It’s just me and a blank page. No baby. No partner. Just me, alone. And because I haven’t been alone with a blank page in 5 months and so much has happened, it’s hard to know where to start.

Whenever I’m with a client who has lots to share and doesn’t know where to begin, I ask, “What’s most present right now?”

What’s most present now is I’ve missed you. I’ve missed our interactions. I’ve missed hearing about your life. I’ve missed being a tender ear to listen and offer insight. I’ve really missed feeling helpful.

Right now my brain is teeming with lessons learned that I want share with you and ideas for a fresh workshop I’ll be hosting this Fall.

What’s also present is trepidation. Motherhood continues to be an ass-kicking, soul-expanding bootcamp of the highest order that has knocked me down only to lift me back up in the exact same breath. The constancy of my child’s need is relentless and I’ve never been more tired or more in love in my life. I’ve never been so proud of or so hard on myself. I’ve gone from feeling invincible to fallible and back again more times than I can count and with every rise and fall have been reminded that nothing, no feeling or crying fit, is ever permanent.

With that, I’d love to introduce you to the little being who has expanded my heart and my world.

This is Zanthe Valentina Greenwood Mansbach.

Yes, she’s got quite a name, which we’re sure she’ll grow into. To answer your question, Zanthe is pronounced Zan-thee. Rhymes with Nancy. She is a big fan of nursing, looking at trees and listening to her papa beat box. She also hates to be ignored, loves Dancehall and stops crying the second we put on Super Cat.

She’s a funny little duck and we like her A LOT.

And even with all this new good love, I’ve been struggling with how to fit it into my life. Where do I find the time my growing family requires of me and do the work I love without sacrificing my already compromised sleep and self care? Is it even possible to be present for my kid, my partner, my friends, my clients and myself and maintain my sanity?

These are the big questions of parenting and, as I’m coming to understand, the answers are slow to reveal themselves.

And so, while I wait, I’ve decided to focus on what matters most in my work and with my family.

What matters most is playing with Zanthe in the morning, walking with her in the late afternoon and putting her to bed at night. What matters most is writing. What matters most is making dinner with Adam. What matters most is moving my body. What matters most is supporting women and men to reconnect with themselves and cultivate a deep well of presence, peace, joy and power in their lives.

With this focus on what matters most, here’s what you can expect to see from me over the next few months:

1. Monthly-ish blog posts - Every month I’ll pop into your inbox with stories and insights to offer compassion, inspiration and a much-needed dose of levity to help us all reconnect on this wild ride called LIFE.

2. Just Fucking Journal - Yes, JFJ will be back this Fall! Truthfully, I’ve only journaled TWICE since Zanthe’s birth and I need this class baaaad. JFJ will run from September 25th-30th so sure be to mark your calendar.

3. Reconnect Retreat - For over a year I’ve been dreaming of bringing a group of women together for a day of insight and rejuvenation and finally, it’s here! Join me for a full day, in-person retreat at my home to recharge and reconnect with yourself for a powerful beginning to the end of 2017. Details coming in September.

Oh, and if you want more baby pics (of course you do) and to get a more regular update on my personal motherhood journey, let’s be sure to connect on Instagram and Facebook.

That’s what I’ve got for you. Now, if I’m lucky, I can meditate for 5 minutes before the baby wakes up.

All my love and thank you for being one of my people.

See you soon!