Here’s the truth.
You’re not crazy for feeling overwhelmed. You’re also not a jerk for feeling resentful. There is too much on your plate and it is not the fault of your frazzled mind or sensitive heart.
You are a busy woman who’s lost herself in the roles of high-capacity doer, wife, worker and mother. You’re hungry for the type of boundaries that will help you listen to, honor and protect the most important person in your life…YOU.
Here’s another truth.
You setting boundaries does not mean you’re an uncaring b*tch.
It is not selfish to decide that you’re work day ends at 5:30 pm. Nor is it unreasonable to request that your boss, your co-workers, your partner and your children speak to you respectfully. You are not out of line in asking your father to stop bringing up sensitive political topics nor are you a bad parent for needing alone time. You are not lazy or giving up your status as a “team player” for say NO to hosting/facilitating/leading yet another thing when you are exhausted.
Boundaries are the courageous act of honoring our needs and offering ourselves compassion and agency so we may offer the same to our families, our teams, our communities and the world.
Boundaries invite you to be more loyal to your needs than to people-pleasing and to embrace yourself as you are, in this moment.
Over the last 15 years I’ve coached hundreds of women and men as they’ve transformed their relationship to boundaries, ended life-long battles with inner critics and self-doubt, found peace in the cells of their skin, stepped out of unhealthy work environments and into fruitful careers, traded betrayal for forgiveness, bravely chosen themselves in the face of rejection, unhooked themselves from fear and found their voice to speak what was most true.
My 4 month Getting Better with Boundaries program can help you do the same.
How do you know I’m the coach for you? My Getting Better With Boundaries Program will help you:
Trade in your immediate, people-pleasing “YES” for a thoughtful “NO.”
Trust what you feel.
Feel more connected to the people you love.
Stop feeling resentful.
Set boundaries without guilt.
Analyze and challenge the sexist, racist, ageist, ableist, weight-biased systems that keep you feeling like shit (and thinking it’s all your fault.)
Stop caring what people think.
Have brave and honest conversations at home and at work.
Choose ease over expectations. Compassion over comparison. Wisdom over worry. Peace over pushing. Feeling over fixing.
Be genuinely kind to the person you see in the mirror.
Embrace who you ARE, rather than who you think you should be.
Tell self-doubt to FUCK OFF.
Stop twisting yourself into a pretzel to keep everyone happy.
If this seems like a lot, don’t worry. It’s my job to help you get there.
We’ll start with my 4-month
Getting Better with boundaries program
01. Boundary Basics
8 types of Boundaries, 3 Tiers of Boundaries, Your Boundaries “Health Assessment”
02. Boundary Building
Honesty, Self-trust + Courage Cultivation
03. Examining Boundary Barriers Navigating Guilt + Renegotiating Fear
04. Boundaries in Action
Scripts for Boundary Setting, Tools for Boundary Maintenance
How good are your boundaries?
Do you have boundaries of steel or do you find yourself people-pleasing, second-guessing and saying YES when you really mean NO?
Take my 10-question boundary inventory to determine if you’re a Boundaries Queen or if your boundaries are in need of some support.
Take my 10-question boundary inventory.
“I like to refer to Jamie as my “everything” coach; not just a life coach, not just a food and body coach, but truly a mind, body, soul, physical, mental, emotional, all-encompassing, whatever-I-need a coach.
Our sessions are by far the most cathartic conversations I have each month. Talking with her is like yoga for my soul. Even when I think I’ve got things “figured out” she’ll deliver a one-liner that sheds new light. Jamie has a way of weeding through all the unimportant junk to bring me straight to what’s most real and true in my life.”
ON INCLUSION
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. ”
In a world that does not value women's rights and women’s bodies, in a culture that continually harms black women, women of color and marginalized people, to care for oneself is a radical act of resistance.
I work to create a wise, inclusive practice that does not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, body size, ability, or class. I value creating a safe space for my clients and aim to be sensitive to their unique experiences, knowing that while we're all human, we each walk in the world differently.
I am adamant in naming and tearing down the many oppressive systems in our culture and am deeply aware that it’s impossible to center self care in our lives without first examining the systemic oppression that keeps so many people from it. (h/t to Kelly Diels.)
As a straight, cis-gender, white, thin, able-bodied woman I strive to stay awake to my numerous forms of privilege and seek to use that power to support marginalized people and communities. All that said, I am in no way perfect in my navigation of these imperative topics and attempt to clean up quickly when I step in sh*t. I continually aim to do the next right thing, no matter how uncomfortable, and will be learning best practices of advocacy and support for the rest of my life.
Coaching Details
In our work together, you’ll receive two 60 minute coaching calls a month, for a minimum of 4 months
Unlimited email access to receive guidance in-between sessions
Scripts, articles, resources, and recommendations tailored to your needs
The investment for our private work together is $600 a month
Our work together is not a quicky but rather a holistic approach where we look at your life and boundary goals from multiple angles.
My coaching is also not about fixing you but rather using my Getting Better with Boundaries curriculum as a vehicle to reconnect and reclaim the lost parts of you. My job is to be your guide, your #1 cheerleader, your clarity and your wise counsel.
Placing boundaries at the center of your life is not about living in some blissed-out, zen state where you feel empowered all the time, never feel guilty or critical, or never again lose yourself in a sea of self-doubt.
Rather, healthy boundaries ask that you learn how to dance with your discomfort instead of becoming it.
They offer compassion to yourself, knowing all humans have hangups that eat away at them, preventing peace.
In joining forces we’ll look at how you currently approach your relationships, your career, and your life and lay out a sustainable plan to get you feeling present, at peace and powerful.
“I work with Jamie because I can feel her warmth and passionate energy radiate from the phone. I’ve never felt so understood and seen. She is the person I can go to for never-ending support and genuine encouragement. No matter how much I doubted my own strength, no matter the heartache, no matter the questions I face, she always and continues to provide the space for acceptance and healing at every step.”
FAQ
What do healthy boundaries look like in real life?
Reducing the knee-jerk to people please. Speaking fearlessly in meetings. Feeding your body when she’s hungry, moving her when she’s restless and putting her to bed when she’s tired. Compassionately engaging in tough conversations with your family, friends and partners. Using white privilege as a weapon against racism and patriarchy. Softening your grip on control. Making art. Letting go of the need to always “make the right choice” and “do the right thing.” Removing “should” from your vocabulary.
What can I expect from our sessions?
Warmth, understanding, deep listening, insight, inspiration, profound change, and some good fucking laughs.
Isn't coaching just therapy without the license?
Very good question. Coaching is not therapy, though it is therapuetic. The primary difference between coaching and therapy (besides licensing) is that coaching primarily focuses on the present and future while therapy spends a good amount of time healing the past. While we won't shy away from talking about the past when necessary, our focus in on shifting your current life situation to create a present and future that excites you.
Why should I work with you?
I have a feeling that if you could have instituted boundaries that work for your life on your own you would have already. That's the kind of doer you are. My question then becomes, how much more time do you want to spend struggling on your own? And if the answer is none, the natural next question is, why wouldn't we work together?