Are you in a denial spiral?
I was just talking to my girlfriend Leslie Carr (therapist extraordinaire) about this the other night. We were following up on an earlier conversation about overwhelm and struggling between the compulsion to push and strive and then, after simply thinking about pushing and striving, wanting to lay on the couch for a month. As we drove along the Embarcadero looking for a parking spot she said, "You know Jamie, I have to thank you. It was our conversation that revealed to me what a denial spiral I was in. I had no idea how stressed I was. I just kept justifying and saying it wasn't that bad when really, I was drowning. Thank you for the best afternoon of therapy!" (Quite a compliment coming from a brilliant therapist.) We all do this. We deny our deeper feelings and turn them into status quo so we can continue to get shit done. Because we are doers, fixers, big thinkers and have shit to do. In looking at our to-do lists, denial of what gets in our way of "accomplishing" is a brilliant strategy. Until it's not.
So how do you know your denial spiral is about to hit rock bottom?
You find yourselves saying things like, "NO really, it's fine." You mention to a friend that you feel stifled by your man or your boss or are feeling "fat" today then quickly brush it off with, "But you know, it's OK." DENIAL. It's not OK. It is not OK to sweep your feelings under the rug because when you do, your feelings begin to seep out in very devious ways. You find yourself obsessing about exercise, worrying about not "getting it right", controlling your calories, constantly worrying about pissing someone off or devouring stale brownie bites while hiding in the back of the pantry. You seek out methods of control as a way to buffer the draining denial that is seething under the surface.
Holy goodness! So what are we supposed to do about this?
Listen to your body. Every time you say, "No really, it's fine" and your tummy does a mini-flip, know that she's telling you that no, really, everything is not fine. When you commit to yet another thing that you don't truly want to do but think you should and suddenly you get a headache or neck tension or your low back gives out...LISTEN. Once you being to listen, you become more aware of the denial spiral and can consciously decide if you want to go down that rabbit hole, or not.
Listening to your body is a huge part of the Delicious Detox. There are already a number of amazing women who decided that when it comes to their bodies and their life, "No really, it's FINE" is no longer cutting it. I am so pumped to start with them on May 13th and I hope you will join us. To sign up, click HERE.
I've also been getting lots of questions about who is invited to do the detox as many people want to share it with their friends and family. I mentioned last week that I'm keeping it within the JamieLiving community. And that still stands because your friends and family are my community as well.
Any sort of lifestyle program is made better when done along side the people we love so YES, if there is a special person or group of people you want to deliciously detox with, pass the invite along.
The denial spiral is a BIG topic, and I want to hear your experience with it. Below make sure to leave a comment and tell me, how often do you say, "No really, it's fine"? Where do you say it and when? What does your body feel like when you are in the denial spiral and what's one way you can pull yourself out of it?
Biggest love and cheers to stepping out of the spiral,
P.S. Got questions about the Delicious Detox? I'll be fielding questions LIVE on the JamieLiving Facebook page at 3:30 pm PST on Wednesday, May 8th. If you want to join us for the detox and have a question, this is the time to get it answered. Here's the page and I'll see you there.
P.P.S. Know ladies that are in a total denial spiral? Be a good friend and tweet this piece.
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