You don’t have a food problem. You have a feelings problem.
I know I don’t usually send two emails in one week but I just really had to share this with you. When I first starting telling my private clients about the “food problem versus feeling problem” idea they weren’t sure what to do with it. Each had come to me thinking they had a food problem. Either they couldn’t stay away from the chocolate bowl at work, felt guilty about eating if they hadn’t worked out, beat themselves up for the occasional diet coke or found themselves going crazy on a bag of organic yogurt covered pretzels after a healthy dinner.
They all ate really well but just couldn’t figure out why they still felt so wound-up about food, or why they sometimes had no willpower when they tried so hard. They came wide-eyed, pen and paper at the ready, hoping I’d give them the secret to changing their “bad” habits.
“I should probably pack chopped veggies and a hard boiled egg,” they’d say. “Or maybe I should drink tea when I get snacky?,” they’d question. “Well it certainly won’t hurt,” I’d say.
And then I’d ask them how they FELT before they grabbed the guilt-inducing food. The answers were always the same; some combination of anxiety, worry, fear, sadness, loneliness, stress and overwhelm.
I’d explain that going for food wasn’t evidence of being out-of-control and needing to get “back on track” but rather a sign that something inside of them needed attention. The chocolate, diet coke or pretzels weren’t the concern; the unacknowledged feelings were.
In other words, none of them had a food problem. They had a feelings problem.
Connecting to your feelings is never an easy thing. In fact, it often sucks, which is why we ALL do our little avoidance dances to make the feelings go away. Some of us eat. Some of us withhold eating. Some of us obsess about eating. Each is a different face of the same coin where we use food as a scapegoat to avoid the uncomfortable feelings that require addressing.
Your feelings are never asking to be fed. They're asking to be heard. Tweet this.
Truth be told, I’d have no problem with you using food to feed or avoid your feelings ... if it freakin’ worked! Unfortunately though whenever we munch or purge or deny eating to avoid what we’re truly feeling, we feel worse than we did before, now having to deal with both the original feeling and the new guilt or yearning caused by our eating behavior.
So here’s the deal.
Get excited because that food problem you thought you’ve had this whole time, actually doesn’t exist. SWEET! Now all we’ve gotta do is address your feelings problem and we’re good to go ;-)
This is big. Like life-changing BIG. And if you feel like you can take this gem and run with it, go for it.
If however, you’re mortal like me and know you often need more structure and explanation of things for full integration, I’ve got you covered. Join me on October 27th at 5pm PST/8pm EST where I’ll be hosting a free call on the specifics of how to finally release your “food problems” and the tools needed to get there.
I’d love to have you join me to explore this entirely new way of approaching your food and body. It’s certainly not the path my clients (or I, for that matter) ever thought we’d take and its turned out to be exactly what we all needed.
Lots of love and I’ll talk to you soon.
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