Are you a routine queen?
Holy goodness it feels like forever since we last connected. In the last 3 weeks I've been to Mexico, Los Angeles and had a lovely little bout of the flu. Yes, I've been busy and sick and busy some more and certainly out of my regular routine. Why is this a problem?
Because I am the QUEEN of Routine.
I am a well-oiled, routine machine and have a gift of taming the seemingly uncontrollable. Overwhelmed clients with crazy schedules and out-of-whack-eating come to me to make order out of their chaotic lives. Routine is where I flourish, where I shine and also, if we are all being honest, where I can become seriously controlling. It's a tricky business, this routine thing.
Have you ever created a routine to stay on track then found yourself holding on too tight? You suddenly begin to think "the routine" is the only way to exist and without it, life will fall apart. Work will spin out of control, you'll start eating dessert again and all of sudden your pants won't fit!
Last month I spoke to my client Jackie who wanted to create a routine around her exercise. "I know I should be doing more cardio," she bemoaned. "I've totally fallen off the wagon and need to get back to the gym!" Her voice was emphatic. Determined. Now, I could have easily laid out a regimented exercise routine that fit Jackie's on-the-go lifestyle. Easy as pie. The thing though was that I knew Jackie could not handle another routine, even though she was asking for one. As a high-powered, seasoned executive she lives her life by rules and routine. In fact, her entire schedule is run by shoulds and have-tos and one of the reasons why exercise wasn't happening was because it had become another SHOULD, and she just couldn't take one more.
Rather than allow Jackie to get controlling with yet another aspect of her life, I said, "You know, we could make a standard "go-to-the-gym" exercise routine for you but I just don't see you enjoying pounding out 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer 4 times a week. Tell me this. How does your body want to move?"
She was stunned. It had never occurred to her to feel into what type of movement her body might be craving. After a bit of teasing out we came to TWO realizations.
1) An exercise routine built around a treadmill, elliptical trainer or any other electronic, "gym" device was a soul-sucking endeavor that she really didn't want to do 2) Her body yearned for soothing openness and nature
And so I created a routine for her that answered her body's call for openness and nature. Jackie now goes to yoga 3 times a week and walks every evening with her husband. She feels strong and open in her body and has more energy now than she ever did when she was slogging herself to the gym. Yes, we established a routine that created order around her exercise, however we did it by asking what her body wanted, not by what her controlling brain thought she SHOULD DO.
Routines are amazing tools to help life run more smoothly. They create alignment when you feel scattered, order in the midst of chaos. AND they can also become a method of control that keep you stuck and stifled if you aren't careful.
So what I really want to know is, are you ready to relinquish the routines that are keeping you from how you really want to live?
Where are holding on too tight to your routine? Do you have routines based on shoulds? What routine would you most like to switch up and how does that FEEL?
Changing up your routine can be challenging at best and terrifying at worst. Open yourself to the possibility of letting go of one routine that feels too tight, too aggressive and notice how you feel.
Much love and here's to letting go of being a routine Queen,
Jamie