What if all this personal growth is bullsh*t?
Sometimes the whole health & wellness, personal development, find your bliss, empowerment rigamarole seems endless, doesn’t it? Just like we can’t walk 20 feet without being told by magazines, commercials and the culture at large that our bodies aren’t good enough and need changing, our “embetterment” gets the same scrutiny.
There are countless articles, websites, programs, including my own, that seek to help you shift and grow, to show you the way to become your best, most aligned, most vibrant, most happy self.
Just writing that last sentence exhausted me. That’s a hell of a lot to live up to.
When I first started coaching 8 years ago, I was all about helping people change from who they were to who they wanted to be, with a particular focus on changing their bodies.
We talked about what to eat and avoid for the body they’d long dreamed of and though my clients began to take better care of themselves, there was something missing. Yes they were technically “healthier”, but there was something pulsing under the surface, something pulling at the fabric of their new health that didn’t sit well with them ...or me.
In those early years I too was drinking the Kool-Aid that we all needed to change. That accepting ourselves in our current state was somehow giving up.
As I saw it at the time, we each had a responsibility to change the unsightly bits of ourselves to make life “better”.
I was certainly on a mission to uphold my own standards of how I was supposed to be and spent years as an exercise obsessed, no sugar, dairy, meat, gluten, or alcohol tyrant who spoke brutally to herself.
The fear that pulled at the fabric of my clients’ positive results was the same that kept me grasping for new ways to control and change myself.
We feared backsliding and not having the willpower to get back “on track”.
We feared not meeting our expectations and living up to our potential.
We also feared looking too good and not being able to maintain that.
What I now know is that we had each invested so fully in our change that our fear of either losing the change or not changing enough prevented us for accepting ourselves as we were, at whatever stage we found ourselves.
TRUTH: Acceptance is the seedling of lasting growth.
There’s no new goal, intention, diet or exercise regime that can root itself in your life if you first cannot accept and be loyal to yourself, as you are, right now. Tweet this!
This is now where I start with my clients because it’s the only place to start. Nothing can grow in toxic soil of not-good-enoughs and always-needing-to-be-betters.
Though growth is imperative to create an authentic, connected life, it can become devastating when where you are is never where you’re supposed to be.
As a say to each of my clients, “You don’t have to love yourself right now, but you do need to put one toe on the path of acceptance before anything can shift.”
Acceptance is simple. And not always easy.
Today, start with a single step. What’s one thing you can embrace about yourself today?
Tomorrow let yourself find another piece of you to hold just as it is.
And if you find yourself still chasing change, trying to PROVE yourself and unable to accept where you are now, join me for tomorrow’s FREE call How to quit PROVING and know you’re good enough.
There are a few spots left and if you’re the kind of person who’s always pushing to do more, this call is for you. Sign up here.
All of my love and here’s to accepting what IS to plant the seed of what’s next to come.
P.S. With Father’s Day coming up, watch this then send it to a father you love. SO good.
Sure thing, regular exercise and medications are playing on the minds of young and old. Present the assortment you can buy in online drugstore is indeed immeasurable. Some pharmacists offer to patients Viagra. Below are the elementary tips about "how viagra works". Where you can get correct information about "how long does viagra last"? The recomendation is unsophisticated, but it can make all the difference if you need information about "whats viagra". Though the erectile dysfunction itself isn't necessarily earnest, such disease is often one of the earliest warning signs of other underlying heartiness conditions that can be quite severe. However, only your physician can determine if Viagra or other remedy is good for you. The health care professional needs to determine which dosage is most assign. In cases of overdose, rule supportive measures should be adopted as required.