As a self care coach, schedule buffering is one of my go to self care tips after a big presentation, after a work trip, after solo parenting, after a holiday party, and after any sort of transition. I make sure to enter slowly. I don't over commit. I leave LOTS of space for me to take it easy and move at a slower pace rather than slamming into the next thing after having just put so much out.
Read MoreI've been thinking a lot about change recently. It's as if every time I catch my breath and get used to life "as it is", something shifts. There's a change in the world. A change in my 3 year old's sleep pattern. A change in my body. A change in the law.
Change, change, everywhere change.
In my 15 years of coaching I've had countless clients ask me, "If I know I want to be less controlling in my life, why do I keep defaulting to it?" There are a number of reasons why we seek to control. Many of us developed controlling behaviors as children to create a sense of stability and safety in an otherwise chaotic/unsafe environment.
Read MoreFor most of my life I toggled between wanting to be a "good girl" and wanting to tell people (and systems) to leave me the f*ck alone. It was a hard line to walk with one part of me wanting to be liked and held in "high-standing" and the other feeling put upon, judged and resenting it.
Read MoreQuestion for you: What were you taught about slowness? Perhaps you were taught that slowness is a form of laziness. Perhaps you internalized the message that going slow is a waste of precious time. Maybe you see slowness as the antithesis of productivity or worse, that slowness is a reflection of low intelligence.
Since January began, my partner Adam and I have been randomly looking at each other and making an exasperated "BLAH!" face. It's the face we use when either of us is feeling uninspired, listless or just, well, BLAH.
Read MoreAs the days shorten we find our bodies naturally craving slowness and inwardness.
Read MoreSince we were children, we've been taught that quitting is a marker of weakness or poor character. Only losers and the undisciplined quit, right?!?
Read MoreYou are not confused. You simply live in a culture that has made it their mission to make you think you're confused to keep you separate from your power. Let’s clear some of that up right now.
Read MoreDo you know what you need to do and STILL aren't doing it? I call this being haunted by your Big Q.
Read More“I can’t believe the way he acts sometimes,” my client said incredulously. We were discussing her fiancè and how she often finds herself either embarrassed or angered by how he acts in public.
Read MoreQuick question: How often do you find yourself spiraling down into fear? If we're all being honest, the answer is probably quite often. I know it is for me. Especially since becoming a parent I've noticed my mind jumping to terrifying scenarios just when I look at my beloved children.
Read MoreSo the question arises, is there life in the middle? And if so, what the hell does that look like? And yet because life is constantly changing, constantly in flux, throwing you from one end of the spectrum to the other, there is no living permanently in the soft middle. The middle is only a place we visit, an inner sanctum we’re continually called to come back to, to find our ground, our solace, our resilience and our relief.
Read MoreIt’s not our fault that we’re control freaks. Besides it being a natural desire to feel safe and secure, controlling ourselves is often the only way to live the misguided ideals of beauty, accomplishment and success that have been shoved down our throats since birth.
Read MoreHow many years have you lost just being so hard on yourself? It’s an interesting phenomenon. We tell ourselves that time flies, that it’s slipping through our fingers, that we must be as productive as possible to make every single minute count. And yet how much time do we continually lose to criticizing our bodies, denying our desires, questioning our true experience, and worrying what people think of us?
Read MoreYou do not need to chronicle all you did today to know you're deserving of love. You do not need to catalog how hard your day was to prove you're worthy of care. You do not need to name a single action to know you're entitled to rest.
Read MoreOften when we’re in chaos, whether in our personal lives or triggered by the state of the world, we lose contact with our center, that sacred place within us that houses our resilience, peace and joy.
Read MoreHow quickly we forget the invaluable effort put out by our arms, our eyes, our legs and our lungs every single day. We forget about all the love our hearts give, all the solace our words bring, all the strength our simple presence offers those who need it.
Read MoreIn this culture, we aren’t taught how to care for ourselves and so we’re left with the beauty-maintenance type of care that, though nice, only keeps us fed for a brief moment. That disconnect sent me looking more closely at care, to find something beyond self care that could access a purer level of nourishment that a pedicure ever could.
Read MoreDear goodness! We all handle shittiness differently and depending on the circumstance, I can either quickly let it go or stew over it for a week. Over time I’ve honed a few key steps to help me (and my clients) deal with shittiness.
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