As a self care coach, schedule buffering is one of my go to self care tips after a big presentation, after a work trip, after solo parenting, after a holiday party, and after any sort of transition. I make sure to enter slowly. I don't over commit. I leave LOTS of space for me to take it easy and move at a slower pace rather than slamming into the next thing after having just put so much out.
Read MoreI've been thinking a lot about change recently. It's as if every time I catch my breath and get used to life "as it is", something shifts. There's a change in the world. A change in my 3 year old's sleep pattern. A change in my body. A change in the law.
Change, change, everywhere change.
In my 15 years of coaching I've had countless clients ask me, "If I know I want to be less controlling in my life, why do I keep defaulting to it?" There are a number of reasons why we seek to control. Many of us developed controlling behaviors as children to create a sense of stability and safety in an otherwise chaotic/unsafe environment.
Read MoreFor most of my life I toggled between wanting to be a "good girl" and wanting to tell people (and systems) to leave me the f*ck alone. It was a hard line to walk with one part of me wanting to be liked and held in "high-standing" and the other feeling put upon, judged and resenting it.
Read MoreQuestion for you: What were you taught about slowness? Perhaps you were taught that slowness is a form of laziness. Perhaps you internalized the message that going slow is a waste of precious time. Maybe you see slowness as the antithesis of productivity or worse, that slowness is a reflection of low intelligence.
Since January began, my partner Adam and I have been randomly looking at each other and making an exasperated "BLAH!" face. It's the face we use when either of us is feeling uninspired, listless or just, well, BLAH.
Read MoreAs the days shorten we find our bodies naturally craving slowness and inwardness.
Read MoreSince we were children, we've been taught that quitting is a marker of weakness or poor character. Only losers and the undisciplined quit, right?!?
Read MoreYou are not confused. You simply live in a culture that has made it their mission to make you think you're confused to keep you separate from your power. Let’s clear some of that up right now.
Read MoreDo you know what you need to do and STILL aren't doing it? I call this being haunted by your Big Q.
Read MoreHere we are with half of 2021 gone and I wonder, how are we all really doing? How are we recovering as we emerge back into the world and what kind of a job are we doing to take care of ourselves through what is still a very trying time?
Read MoreQuestion: Do you ever beat yourself up for not having the immediate solution to solve all your problems? Or for the fact that you're only willing to reach out for support once it feels like life's about to fall apart?
Read MoreNo matter what topic my clients and I are covering in our sessions, be it relationships, career, joy, diet culture/mentality, or parenting we somehow always come back to the foundational theme of how they are caring for themselves through their particular situation.
Read MoreClose your computer. Stop scrolling Instagram. Hide from your family and just sit. Then breathe. Then notice. In this stillness is where you will feel the tug, the call, for what needs care in your life.
Read MoreIt’s not our fault that we’re control freaks. Besides it being a natural desire to feel safe and secure, controlling ourselves is often the only way to live the misguided ideals of beauty, accomplishment and success that have been shoved down our throats since birth.
Read MoreIt started decades ago with my body. My arms were a problem. My stomach was a problem. My ass was a BIG problem. Over the years this sense of wrongness spread, sucking the joy out of friendships, romance, vacations, and work.
Read MoreIn this culture, we aren’t taught how to care for ourselves and so we’re left with the beauty-maintenance type of care that, though nice, only keeps us fed for a brief moment. That disconnect sent me looking more closely at care, to find something beyond self care that could access a purer level of nourishment that a pedicure ever could.
Read MoreNow, I wish I could tell you my growing love handles didn’t bother me. But the truth is, though I didn’t freak out and go on some crazy, no-fat, no-carb diet like I would have years ago, I definitely harbored fantasies of telling new dude that we couldn’t eat out anymore and had to cut back on the drinking and dessert.
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