What if You Don’t Need Fixing?
I've always thought there was something wrong with me.
It started decades ago with my body. My arms were a problem. My stomach was a problem. My ass was a BIG problem. Over the years this sense of wrongness spread, sucking the joy out of friendships, romance, vacations, and work.
It was a tough belief to shake as it played right into my love of fixing. I love the intoxicating swirl of pride and relief that comes when you've worked every angle and finally found the solution to whatever's calling to be fixed.
Fixing gives us agency and direction when we feel lost and directionless. It also keeps us focused on the mistaken notion that we are broken.
And so I’m wondering, what if you’re not a problem? What if there is nothing wrong with your soft belly, nothing wrong with your tiredness, nothing wrong with your lack of time to create, or with the dark circles under your eyes?
Goodness knows there are plenty of legitimate problems in the world that need fixing but what if there's no problem with YOU?
What if there's no problem with your new gray hairs, no problem with your clothes, no problem with your scattered brain, no problem with what you eat for breakfast?
And with this simple question, we remember that we’re not broken and not a self-improvement project to be perfected. There is nothing wrong with you and there never has been.
And it's with this remembering that we touch upon peace. The peace we used to think we could only feel once we were fixed.
If you enjoyed this post, please keep reading!
This conversation is between myself and an incredible woman named Ani, who shares how she learned how to be authentic, practice self-compassion, and take up space without guilt or shame through my 6-month group coaching program, Homecoming. Ani is a model for how to excavate internalized misogyny and live authentically without fear of others’ opinions. The conversation originally took place on my podcast, The Path Home.