Why is January so hard?
Every January I inevitably forget who I am.
Since January began, my partner Adam and I have been randomly looking at each other and making an exasperated "BLAH!" face. It's the face we use when either of us is feeling uninspired, listless or just, well, BLAH. In our house, January is officially a BLAH month. (No offense meant to all you January birthday people.)
Why?
Reason #1: Most of us enter January feeling exhausted from both the holidays and the year we've just had and have had little time to care for ourselves or recalibrate.
Reason #2: Our culture expects us to jump into the new year ready and raring to go (thank you, capitalism), having no regard for the fact that the new year takes place in WINTER. F*cking WINTER. A time when our animal bodies are naturally drawn to hibernation and taking it easy. Reason #3- We’re still in a blasted PANDEMIC.
My yearly reaction to the demand that I must have a laser-focused vision and plan for some grand goal by January 2nd, is to completely forget who I am, what I care about and why I do what I do.
This year, thankfully, rather than spiralling down into a pit of despair, I remember that while I always forget who I am in January, I generally remember by February.
How?
Because rather than having my year figured out by January 1, I let myself take the entire month, or longer, to feel into what I want to experience in the year to come. I don't force. I don’t push. And I don’t tell myself I’m a lazy a*hole who is already behind. (No matter how tempting that is.)
Instead, I get still and listen for what might feel good. Last year what felt good was going HARD in my business. I hired a coach, hired a social media manager and built and launched my signature group program Homecoming. This year, I’m not really feeling the pull for big growth. If 2021 was a year of cerebral planning, charting and executing, I’ve realized 2022 is calling for more pleasure and a deeper connection the natural world. I’m excited to reap the harvest from my work last year and settle into a more manageable flow.
This doesn't mean I’m not working or don’t care about my business. It means that I’m trusting that not every year has to be about exponential growth. Not every year about is making this bigger and better. Some years are just about staying steady and honoring all you’ve already done.
If you’re feeling lost and listless this January, let yourself get still and listen for It's in the stillness that we can feel enough to answer the question, "What do I want?" It's in the stillness that we remember there is no right/best/correct way to do this thing called life. And it's in the stillness that we remember who we are.
I created this mini-course for women who find themselves drowning in "shoulds," and who are ready to live life on their own terms. This self-paced course is doable even for the busiest among us, consisting of a digital workbook, 4 guided meditations, and absolutely no deadlines, obligations, long-term commitments, or "shoulds.
May we all enjoy the energy that comes from leaving our confusion and all the shoulds in the dust.
If you enjoyed this post, please keep reading!
This conversation is between myself and an incredible woman named Ani, who shares how she learned how to be authentic, practice self-compassion, and take up space without guilt or shame through my 6-month group coaching program, Homecoming. Ani is a model for how to excavate internalized misogyny and live authentically without fear of others’ opinions. The conversation originally took place on podcast, The Path Home.