Self Care Versus Soul Care
Truth be told, I’m not a huge fan of self care.
Though everyone defines it differently, self care seems to take a material edge. Pedicures are self care. Facials are self care. Getting unwanted hair removed via hot wax is self care.
Don’t get me wrong. I love a good facial and have zero issues with toenail maintenance or waxing. AND the flip side of that kind of self care is its alliance with societal pressure for women to maintain a particular beauty and body standard.
It’s hard to know what to do with that.
YES, I love getting pampered and there’s an underlying, little discussed, reason why I do it that is completely unrelated to true care.
In this culture, we aren’t taught how to care for ourselves and so we’re left with the beauty-maintenance type of care that, though nice, only keeps us fed for a brief moment.
That disconnect sent me looking more closely at care, to find something beyond self care that could access a purer level of nourishment that a pedicure ever could.
Enter soul care.
Soul care settles you into yourself.
Soul care brings air to your lungs, movement to your body and inspiration to your soul.
Soul care brings out the best in you.
Soul care reminds you who you are.
I’ve recently started having my clients create soul care lists and, interestingly enough, no two lists are alike.
Why?
Because soul care is intrinsically personal. It’s what nourishes your heart and soul, not what you think you have to do to be or look a certain way. (And yet I’m sure if I’d asked my clients to make self care lists, all that beauty stuff would’ve popped up.)
Soul care lists are living documents, something to add to and check in with to make sure what’s there is still real for you.
And what’s so beautiful about soul care is, if we’re connected to our needs, it’s allowed to change.
6 months ago my top three soul care items were:
Salsa dancing
Girl-time dinners
Creating Just F*cking Journal
Currently, my top 3 soul care items are:
Long talks with my dude
Dancing to Sly and the Family Stone while cooking
Sleeping in and taking naps (I still can’t believe this one is on there. A true testament to change.)
All are soul care yet what’s takes top billing is a reflection of the care I need at this time in my life, which will most likely change 6 months from now.
Take a moment today to create your soul care list.
Ask yourself…
What brings me joy? What makes me feel free?
What actions/activities reconnect me to ME that I rarely make time for?
What are 3 ways I can feel closer to myself right now?
The list doesn’t have to be long or exhaustive. Simply let yourself jot down what kind of care would feel best at this time in your life.
Also, this list doesn’t replace your self care list or even change it. (Because I’m in no way giving up facials.)
Instead, think of your soul care as a deepening into your next level of care.
If you enjoyed this post, please keep reading!
This conversation is between myself and an incredible woman named Ani, who shares how she learned how to be authentic, practice self-compassion, and take up space without guilt or shame through my 6-month group coaching program, Homecoming. Ani is a model for how to excavate internalized misogyny and live authentically without fear of others’ opinions. The conversation originally took place on my podcast, The Path Home.